Sex toy control: opinions?

I have been looking into this topic lately and found there are many services available if you want your toy to be controlled by someone: xToys, ComePlayWithMe, Ayva remote recent release, also all the stuff Lovense is doing.

So I am wondering, if there are any people here, who have actually tried these services and what is your opinion? Did you enjoy or would you rather watch a regular video with script instead?

  • Sex toy control by real person
  • Video with script
0 voters

Never tried it with performers or anything, but with my partner, and it’s technically a great sensation, however it’s really hard for both parties to focus on either controlling or “performing”, which often ends up in a situation where your toy is on the same setting for 15 min+

In theory, great, in practice, often lackluster, basically.


Interesting. Does discord or some other audio-video communication help with the immersion?
I am thinking chat messages are quite inconvenient and incompatible with the whole process

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Yeah discord and similar services (like WhatsApp) work pretty well,
but vrchat transcended it altogether, although I can’t see that translating very well into the adult entertainment industry since that’d probably be prostitution with extra steps on paper

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So how are you integrating VRChat into this? I am not quite clear on how it would work altogether

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me and my partner actually found and paid for a plug-in that would activate each respective toy corresponding to where and how you touch the other person’s model, before that, we sort of just winged it via lovense remote and feelconnect on our phones haha

Could you share the plug-in, please? I am curious!

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It’s been a while since I got the one I had installed, and it proves awfully hard to find now, however, this one seems rather promising as well :

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Thank you, I will look into it!

I think the question isnt realy about a real person, as a randomizer can effectively just do the same.

The real person aspect relies on visual/audio information to create a feedback loop and allow the person to adjust. And if the user of the toy doesnt want to share any information (no audio/video stream), then everything is basicly going to be the same as just a script. At this point AI beats a real person as that one can still get that information (even if it requires user input to say ‘harder’ or ‘weaker’ through a dial or buttons)

So the question is more about ‘how much are you willing to reveal yourself to strangers’ in most cases.

The reason lovense does market it diffirent is because it sounds better to say its for couples, rather than just strangers. Strangers for many sounds awkward, and is socialy still a bit of a taboo. Anyone however that is a bit more into these toys knows what a common use is here.

And yes, there are couples that have distant relationships (someones work might mean 2 weeks of not being together), and these will definitely be interested here. But that on its own is a small market (and might explain why even though most elements used in those toys arent expensive, the toys still are).

I think AI is on that the most interesting part, especialy when AI video becomes a thing. As that can then bring a real immersive experience (the models dont even need to look realistic, plenty of people would just like overwatch models being animated here)

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What about cam girls, onlyfans, etc? They have video and audio aspect covered.
Would you join a stream, where a girl on camera controls your toy and you can see her, probably even write message in chat?

I have tried some AI chatbot recently, it was fine, but not yet on the level to be excited. It is evolving of course, in time, as you said we will have AI video content, adjusted to your liking, but right now, having a real human on the other side sounds more compelling, what do you think?

If i see onlyfans or something i see it as 1 girl trying to please many. Which to me is very close to just being a script. You cannot ensure the girl will do something you ask, and even if she does, you wont know if it was you or something else. Its a very 1directional way of doing things. Something that AI eventualy also will be able to do.

The entire thing could have been prerecorded and just be playing back on OF and you might not even know it as the girl could have decided to ignore you completely. Thats why i dont see this sort of interaction being that much diffirent to just a script with video.

Ofcourse, on smaller channels where the girl only has to please a few people there is a higher chance of responses. But this then comes a lot closer to a 1:1 situation which toys like lovense use in their marketing (and there surely is demand for this).

But i guess it just depends on the mood. As when you desire interaction with someone, even if its just a video stream it beats being alone and watching a video. But when AI manages to realisticly mimic girls, this obviously will no longer matter (we arent there yet as AI hands are a thing it realy isnt good at).
And especialy when its the only way to get interaction with a girl, its better than nothing. But personaly if i desire that, a video isnt going to be enough.

And yes, i have said in other threads that such capabilities are highly desired, and potentialy for toy makers even a way they might make a lot of money. Its a cheap and effective way for people to get interaction with a women. And even though it might be not as intensive as actual sex, it might also simply not be needed to begin with (not everyone might even desire such interaction and are happy with basic chat).

But its still the question about how much you want to reveal. Chat while being quite anonymous, if a username is involved still could potentialy give away information you might not want to. Even if the users cannot see it (everyone displayed as anonymous with maybe just a randomly generated number for the session), the platform behind it can (and some people are still very sceptical here - me included).

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generally speaking it sounds attractive but as @SomeoneRandom mentioned, the novelty would wear off pretty quick if it’s one girl controlling many, when it’s just a few, it starts feeling more personalized and special, but a t that point I think it might turn into a different issue, business wise, since I could very easily see co-depending, parasocially invested customers being a main source of income.

Not a great spot for adult entertainers to be in when they financially depend on a single customer giving them lots of money, although this is already happening even without it so i’m not sure by how much it might exacerbate that problem.

(speaking from experience with the adult industry and livestream entertainers in my friend circle)

Note though, that these plaforms generaly require good recordings for scripts anyway, and that same software could be very interesting for platforms like OF even if its just playback of a video. The step for live recording might on that be harder as it has to be near instant, but everything after that is generaly just the same.

And since OF is popular as porn source, toy connectivity is a great addition even for that, especialy if it barely takes any effort. An OF channel with this feature might on that make more money than one without, even if interaction misses.

And 1:1 video calls with paid girls can also be a thing. Not everyone can just go to an escort center (or whatever that is called), so there is still a market here. But on that most companies already missed their biggest opportunity (covid) as during that time having this feature would enable a massive gain.

That its a novelty doesnt matter as much. Its as much of a novelty as VR is (not everyone needs VR for a good handy experience. from my experience due to videos being 1 way, the VR aspect barely adds as there is no interaction going on). I mostly use the handy for PMV/CH scripts due to not trying to be realistic, and instead aiming for a good (and intense) experience in general.

Everyone is diffirent, and for some this novelty is the main reason to even go for it. They might become an OF customer because of that feature.

I believe that AI with a few sensors and time to learn your personal desires via voice and the data it can learn online, it will be a real something.

That is how skynet will take over the world…
holding us by the balls


At least this skynet then wont need nukes to get us to explode :wink:


I’m assuming that you actually meant Ayva Remote” release (not “Ayana”).

I will preface this response by saying that I’m the inventor of Ayva Remote, so I suppose you could say I am “biased”. However, I invented the software because I wanted to use it, so I think my opinion here is still valuable as a user.

I don’t think this is an either or sort of thing. It’s a different experience, and it will probably be an entirely different experience based on the type of toy and the type of control available. Some of what people have said in this thread is simply not applicable to the way that I’ve used Ayva Remote.

For example, a toy being “on the same setting for 15 min+” like @Dock said doesn’t even apply to Ayva Remote, because Ayva Remote is true live control. The person isn’t merely changing settings and patterns, they’re actually moving their finger(s) to make the motions themselves. So essentially every stroke is different and it approaches the experience you’d have in an actual in-person encounter; given that you feel the nuance of their touch. This was the one thing I vowed to do when I designed this software: no automated patterns; only true live control no matter what. I find the whole concept of simply changing patterns fantastically boring. I want to feel the other person stroking me and know that each movement is generated by their body. That’s dramatically different than someone simply pressing a button to change how fast or slow something automated is going.

As far as communication, I’ve had sessions that were chat only. Yes, it’s a little inconvenient, but surprisingly not that much. Sometimes you don’t need to give that much instruction. Some of the people I’ve been with respond well to simple emojis just to indicate that what they’re doing feels good. It’s not ideal, but it gets the job done. There can also be something thrilling about not being seen or heard. If you’re shy and/or introverted like I am, sometimes not being observed is desirable and can enhance the experience. Its kind of nice to be able to have what I call introverted sex. To get the pleasure of sexual engagement with a human without having to interact all that much. It’s actually kind of magical and something that wasn’t really possible before.

But I have also had sessions where I was on audio and the other person was on audio and video, and sessions where we were both on video and audio (cam-to-cam). With something like Ayva Remote it basically ends up feeling like you’re having sex with the person due to the live control and them responding to you.

Even when I was only chat and they were on audio and video, it still wasn’t the same as a script because I could see them. There is something about the interactivity and knowing that a real person is there to respond and is trying to get you off that is really hot. Even when I’d just send emojis and/or text it was fun to see their reactions to my excitement and desire and have them change up what they were doing (with the toy or with their body to excite me).

Re: Cam girls. Every time I’ve used Ayva Remote with a cam girl it was a 1x1 session with her live controlling my device. So I’m not sure about this “1 girl trying to please many” scenario mentioned by @SomeoneRandom. It just literally never happens with Ayva Remote.

Re: anonymity. Someone mentioned usernames giving away information. In Ayva you create a username for each session so it truly is anonymous. I suppose if you met on a cam site though they might see your username there. But there’s no reason your camsite username needs to give away any info about you.

Re: VR. I’m releasing a plugin pretty soon that will allow Ayva Remote to stream to Virt-a-mate (a popular advanced VR sex simulator if you haven’t heard of it). So folx who want to remotely control VR scenes will be able to do that.

Bottom line, every remote control scheme is going to be a different experience and it will vary based on how and who you’re using it with. And it will continue to get more and more advanced. I have a lot of plans for Ayva Remote for example that will make the experience even more intense (syncing the live control of a penetrative device on her end for example).

There will always be folx who want to use scripts and folx who want to use AI though. I mean, I’m one of those people. (I’m also the inventor of one of the most advanced random strokers for OSR2/SR6, Ayva Stroker Lite, and will continue to make advancements on the AI front in the future as well. In fact, one of the reasons I want to get people using Ayva Remote is that captured motion data (anonymized) will potentially help me train an AI).

But ultimately it’s just another way to enjoy your sex toy. You don’t have to choose one or the other. You can try remote control sometimes; use scripts at others.

Hell sometimes I still prefer to just use my hand while watching porn :joy:.

There’s room for all of it. But I’ll say that it feels important for more people to start using remote services so that we can make them better and better. More feedback. More ideas. More pleasure.

Happy Stroking :heart:


Sorry for a typo, I have corrected the OP!
And thank you for your opinion! I agree it is a different experience.
Would you care to share how did you come up with an idea for Ayva? What was the trigger? :slight_smile:

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