If you’re intent on still using your fleshlight sleeves, Kiiroo Keon for commercial product. If you want something thats less ‘commercial’ you’ll be going into the DIY products.
These DIY products add extra axises of motion so they’re an upgrade to the single-axis stroker.
If you just want a better single-axis stroker, Handy1 is the bread and butter of the community but it wasn’t really designed with use with the fleshlights due to their length and will require aftermarket modifications. Idk about the Handy2 since its up for pre-orders for anyone who didnt kickstart it.
As for headset, just get the newest meta quest. If you’re not particularly versed in the subject of VR its the simplest product to get that’s not just strapping a phone to your face.