A Syncbot Review, written by Hunter S. Thompson

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In the wild, neon-infused deserts of the digital realm, learning the ins and outs of the Syncbot was like trying to ride a psychotic buffalo through downtown Vegas. The damn scabbard or whatever they call it – might as well have been forged by the devil himself. My hands ached, every finger pulsating with the sheer audacity of this… contraption. The clear one? That bastard had a death grip on itself. It felt like wrestling a crazed badger after three days on a mescaline binge.

Thank heavens for those trusty kitchen gloves – the unsung heroes of my little misadventure. After a bit of a struggle, some whispered curses and a prayer to the gods of old and new, that sucker gave way. It’s as if it had a change of heart, deciding to cooperate after witnessing my sheer will (and potential insanity). I figure some maniac in manufacturing gave it one twist too many. Overzealous, perhaps? But who am I to judge?

And then, there I was, in the dim haze of the afternoon, with this cold hunk of metal cradled in my most intimate of regions. All this while navigating the absurdity of software updates. And where did this sacred digital scripture come from? A Discord link. Discord! Like some back alley deal in a digital speakeasy. What in the sweet name of Gonzo journalism happened to the main site? The primary source? The mothership? Lost, it seems, in the chaotic tapestry of the modern age.

In the midst of all this, I had to wonder: Is this the future? A wild ride of metal, digital updates, and Discord? If so, strap in, my friends. The road ahead is wild, unpredictable, and drenched in sheer lunacy.

Such is the life of start-up technology.

Alright, enough Thompson, the first experience was rather underwhelming, and almost made me decide to box it up and stick to Becky the Handy. Becky just works. You turn her on, you pick a script, she goes to town. I read some more reviews on here and people were saying how phenomenal the device is, surely something I’m doing is missing from the overall experience, is it me? Is it the Syncbot? Was it a shitty conversion? You never know until you try, so that’s exactly what I did. I decided to give Ol’ Syncbot and converted this script I did, then it happened, it all changed.

The device had suction and contractions, and it rotated 360 degrees like Linda Blair from “The Exorcist.” There was no Father Karras to save me from what the Syncbot was doing to my anatomy. When I tried to pull away as it went to work, it resisted my efforts. In that moment, I not only realized that anyone who could truly extract themselves from the Syncbot might as well be crowned King Arthur, but I also understood that I had underestimated the Syncbot.

I treated Syncbot like Becky. But it isn’t a Becky. She was born and raised in the Hollywood hills, drives a expensive cars, wants to be wine and dined, not blown in a back alley like Becky. She looks all glamorous and high tech on the outside, but is an ABSOLUTE freak inside.

Anyways, would I recommend someone buy the Syncbot? Depends if you want to be an early adopter of tech. I was graciously given the opprotunity by the team to shil-, er I mean, test it out to and it has exceeded my expectations. Is it a replacement for Becky? No, and here’s why:

Becky (The Handy)

(+) Better Deepthroat stimulation (Has that bottoming out feeling that Syncie can’t do)
(+) Better torque
(+) Feels more immserive during titjob scenes/handjobs due to the fact there isn’t any rotation.

Now, if the device could have a rotation like a twist effect that is timed to a hand twist, maybe, but its short stroke length won’t most likely accomodate it. I could be wrong, we can’t create custom scripts for it, so time will tell.

(+) For people that like it rough
(+) Easy as FUCK to use
(+) VR support
(+) Vibration scripts
(+) Full stroke length
(+) Phone compatibility
(+) Supported by tons of sites/communities/software is open source
(+) Easy as shit to clean
(+) Sleeve variety
(+/-) Stronger stimulation

(-) Always plugged in
(-) A bit loud at times
(-) Disconnects randomly
(-) Single Axis
(-) Uncomfortable to hold

Syncbot

(++++++++++) Contractions and Rotations save the device
(++++++++++) Suction
(+/-) AI Script creation
(+) Feels better in your hands
(+) Finer material/sleeves
(+) Slower, gradual climax
(+) Impressive presentation
(+/-) Touch activated controls
(+) Charges fast

(-) Heats up quick
(-) Disassembly can be a pain in the ass
(+/-) Cleaning is not as easy as The Handy, but isn’t terrible

What type of sexual acts that feel better on the device is going to vary depending on the person. For me, it goes a bit like this:

Blowjob (Slow)
Handy < Syncbot
Blowjob (Med/Fast)
Handy = Syncbot)
Deepthroat
Handy > Syncbot
Penetration
Syncbot > Handy
Handjob (Any Speed)
Handy > Syncbot
Titjob
Handy > Syncbot

The Verdict:

In the pulsating underbelly of the tech world, the Syncbot is not just another gadget, but a wild, electric beast all on its own. While The Handy might have been the ringleader for a while, parading its bravado in the center ring, the Syncbot has entered the circus tent, howling like a coyote on peyote, offering an entirely different trip.

Now, I’m not saying it’s the messiah to cast shadows on The Handy. No sir. For those crazed enthusiasts who’ve danced with the OSR2 or the SR6, the alluring grip and squeeze of this device might just feel like the embrace of a Las Vegas showgirl after a five-day bender. It’s different, man. Different.

But here’s the catch, and it’s a big one: third-party support. That’s the golden ticket. Give the reins to the mad wizards of the coding world, and they’ll make this beast sing like Janis at Woodstock. We’re talking dedicated scripting software, the kind that makes the machine and the mind meld like LSD in the '60s.

Are you ready to dive headfirst into the swirling maelstrom of beta? Ready to embrace the raw, uncut power of something still finding its legs? Then saddle up, because the Syncbot is your steed. But remember, it’s a wild ride. The AI scripts it spits out? They’re like the random thoughts of a beatnik at a poetry slam – some pure genius, others downright bizarre.

But if you’re the kind who likes his tech more refined, like a smooth Kentucky bourbon instead of a wild mezcal, then maybe hold your horses. Give it some time to mature, let the tech gurus hammer out the kinks both in the wires and in the ether. No shame in waiting for the party to really get started.

In the immortal words of the doctor himself, “Buy the ticket, take the ride.” But always know what ride you’re in for.

18 Likes

…i was honestly expecting more drug references, but that was truly awesome, well done ‘Mr Thomson’, have a well deserved mint julep…

That was a very entertaining review. Good job.

So this thing is just rotating randomly all the time regardless of what’s happening on screen?

What’s up with this Discord stuff? I don’t use Discord. Am I really not going to be able to get device, company, and software updates? When I email support, are my emails just going to be sent out into the void forever unanswered?

The real question is would you have paid for it?

I’m trying to decide but the reviews seem to indicate that the people who really enjoyed it never had to pay for it :thinking:

1 Like

I purchased it myself, and, trust me, it’s not ready yet for prime-time. You will be disappointed with it in its current state. I would wait and see if things change with handmade scripts in the coming weeks.

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Thank you for the honest review. To be honest that’s what I am reading “between the lines” of these reviews compared to the comments from people that actually paid.

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Thing is still a big in progress device with current buyers being QAs. Potential is there, but still a lot missing. Maybe in two years if they also improved stroke length.

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My thoughts exactly I think once more things become streamlined, more third-party support gets developed, and they iron out some kinks, the device has a lot of potential to grow.

I most likely wouldn’t have bought this device without the opportunity to try it out, as I typically like to enjoy technology and software in all its forms once it has gone through some extensive QA and updates.

The software side of it is the most frustrating IMO, but hopefully we see improvements moving forward.

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