I use mine so I can unwind and not have to be concerned about her climaxing. Sometimes I want to enjoy myself and not have to worry about how another person (she) is doing.
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The handy, osr2, launch, keon etc. is the same as your wife having a vibrator. It is fine as long as she is comfortable with you using it the same way if she’s using a vibrator. Using the masterbator during a cam show is a different story all together because you’re having a connection with another person live instead of just watching some porn. Nothing wrong with it if she’s comfortable and happy with you having a sexual connection with other women, be it a camshow or literally real sex with hookers etc.
Whatever she’s comfortable and happy with is matters most. The handy is just a toy like a vibrator.
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As everyone else pretty much said, reassure her that she’s irreplaceable. Had the same issue with my girl with my osr2 purchase, she didn’t enjoy the added capabilities it had over the launch and thought she was getting replaced, or that I’d waste myself on it. That all changed when she wanted to see it and I handed her an Xbox controller. Now the only disappointment she has is that it can’t be controlled online like the Launch could. Hope that changes one day.
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Now there is an idea. Give them the control of the device. 
She shouldn’t feel replaced, the Handy and things like it are cool for vids, but are very mediocre otherwise.
For one you don’t have the sensation of the tongue, the hot breath or the natural and sensual sucking.
Can’t replace a nice set of tits either.
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Can’t argue with those points. It’s been 6 months and still sitting in the drawer.
we’ve tried using it in the bedroom twice now, once just because but it didn’t work so well because I’d rather just fuck her, once when she couldn’t participate vaginally due to a back issue and that went ok, still rather just fuck her.
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My wife bought me mine as a birthday present last year.
That said, while she knows I use it, I don’t think she realizes how much I use it. Or that really goon out with it.
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I got one right after my wife had our baby–we used it together while she was out of commission after the birth. We haven’t really used it together since she was able to have sex again, but recently told me she wants to tie me up and use it on me sometime. Could be fun.
Are you planning on using just The Handy or with VR porn? If I use it with VR porn, it almost feels like I’m cheating on my wife.